Depression.. how does it feel you ask? Empty and painful.. what can others do for you? Just be there.. human contact, the emotion, the feeling of not being alone. What others shouldn’t do? Lecture, push their beliefs on you, tell you what you should do. It’s not about doing it’s about knowing you are not alone. Why others try to fix it you ask? Because they are scared.. they see their loved one disappear and they get scared, therefore they try to “fix” it. No fixing is needed ..
What is needed on the other hand, is emotional presence to help you not feel so alone. Demons of depression are quite powerful and it takes a village to conquer it. Depression equals to loneliness and emotional and physical pain all intertwined. Feelings of abandonment, self pity, fear of “not being good enough ” arise and you start to feel BROKEN. How do you deal with BROKEN? Do you fix it? Do you throw it away and create someone new? Do you stay broken?
The choice is definitely yours.
Depression, just like grief, has stages you go through. Feelings of pain, sadness, loneliness, guilt, hopelessness… all have to be fully felt before you can move on to the next stage. The trick is to allow yourself to fully feel the sadness, accept that feeling and finally let go. The hardest part of the process is to accept the feeling. We are so afraid to feel sad that we’d do anything in our power to try and escape it. And then it comes back again… Vicious cycle of sadness, hopelessness, anger…
In order to allow ourselves to fully feel these emotions we need to feel safe. Having a person you trust to be emotionally available to you and support you through this process is detrimental.
Fix it? Throw it away? Or stay and feel it through?
“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”